Alone in the crowd II.

Have you ever felt really lonely even though you were surrounded a lot of people that you actually liked?

This is how I’ve been feeling in the last few weeks sine I’m back from Taiwan. I’ve felt like this before, but it was still not quite the same. At those times I felt that something was missing, but I never knew what that was. But now, this time I know. Six months ago I found my other half, the one who completes me, we had been doing everything together and since we had to separate I feel lost. Now I now that he is the one I’m missing and that’s why I feel so alone. When I’m with my friends they say I look good and I don’t look sad – of course, because I’ve learnt throughout the years how I can hide what’s inside me. I might be smiling even if every little part of me is screaming inside. Really useful ability sometimes. Anyways, I do have a good time meeting my friends back here, but at the back of my mind I still think of him every minute of the day.

When girls say something like this, people usually react by telling them that you don’t need somebody else to complete you and you should be able to be happy on your own. I couldn’t agree more. I felt like a satisfied, complete and happy young lady before I met him, but he just gave me something… extra, like something that could complete a whole. I really can’t explain this feeling, but maybe if you felt like this before, you will understand.

So right now my next task to complete is to figure out how to handle this feeling. Knowing that even though physically we can’t be together he is always there for me helps a lot and gives me strength of course. But I don’t know if there’s any way to make it better ’till we can meet again. Because we will, because it’s all we both want, our shared dream that we are fighting for, no matter what anybody has to say and no matter how sceptic some people might be.

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