…and let success be your voice.
This has been my motto and motivation in the last couple of months. It has been a pretty tough period, coming home from Taiwan, having to live without the one that is the most important to me… It doesn’t matter if it’s been a week, a month, or half a year – in a way it just won’t get better. Sometimes I really feel like I am only a ghost of myself, merely a shadow living day after day.. My body is here but my mind and soul are wandering far far away. But I know that life won’t just stop and wait for me until I recover from this daydream-life, so I decided one thing: I will be working hard every single day. I will do everything in my power to make the most out of this situation. I may not be the best, but I will be the hardest working one, for sure.
And working hard has really had its result. It helped me through every day, one at a time. I made progress, I set and achieved goals and my efforts have been appreciated. Actually I can honestly say that so far I did bring the most out of what I have now. And knowing that if your really put yourself there with no pains spared, it won’t be in wain is a wonderful feeling. I had an idea and I made it into reality. I opened a door and was offered many more. I got my dream internship position that actually turned into a part time job, and I can work with brilliant and talented men and women from whom I can learn so much. Learn those things that are not written in the books, learn how to think, how to act, I have been earning experience that before I had only wished for. And my job, apart from being so beneficial – makes me happy. I consider myself incredibly lucky. I think nowadays, especially in my country, in this economic situation, really few people can honestly say that they love what they do and the do it because they want to, not because they have to. I think it is rare that people come out of the office with honest smiles on their face, fascinated by the thoughts and impressions of the day. Yet, I have all that. I realized what an exceptional position I am in and I definitely will not let it get away. I will continue to work hard, to do my best and to grow and learn everyday. I want to be a real help, a real source of inspiration for my superiors and collagues and I want to make their days, their lives better through my work and attitude just as they make mine.
I still have doubts about the future. I still have way too many things that I am interested in and would love to do, would love to study and of which it is extremely hard to chose. I have plans but at the same time I have little idea what I will be doing three years from now. However, I realized that overthinking doesn’t help much, so I am focusing on now instead of questioning tomorrow, doing what I have on my plate currently and get closer to the future step by step. Task by task. Day by day. And then we’ll see.
As for the many interests – I didn’t give up on my passion of working out. As it was many times before, being in the gym is yet again an opportunity for me to escape. Escape from reality when it comes to the hard times and escape from my thoughts when they are turning too dark. Escape from the loneliness that I feel and turning to the goals that I know I can achieve. Yes, it’s turning off my mind but at the same time it allows me to set enormous amounts of energy and power free, and to improve. It gives me new challenges – may it be a heavier weight or lost motivation. I had bad times in the gym too, when it didn’t feel right and when I felt I was lacking motivation. But I got through it. I stood up from the ground, changed up my routine, found new way to improve, new challenges to conquer and really fast got back on track. Yet again, I became my own motivation. Seeing the changes and the improvements on my body is like a drug. Makes you want more. Won’t allow you to stop. Just like when I started two years ago. And I am proud that I haven’t given up, that I never stopped and that I can still improve. So just as regarding work, I decided: I will work hard. Everyday. To improve, to grow, to get better – not better than somebody else, but better than I was before. Because I know I can.